Formula to Happiness

THE PREFACE

Over the years I have learned the formula to achieving happiness. However just as in math knowing the formula is only half the battle. It's an entirely different story when you actually have to apply the formula to actually solving the real world problem (equation). I should know, seeing as how I always struggled in math class. The majority of the time I was able to completely understand how the formula worked, however I would always miss a step along the way. I wouldn't carry the negative sign, or I would go to fast and make careless mistakes which led to me coming up with the incorrect answer.

In my pursuit for happiness I often face the same problems with receiving the correct answer, which in this case is happiness. In other words, by me "claiming" to have the formula to happiness does not in any way mean that I am ALWAYS happy.

THE FORMULA

I firmly believe that ALL people regardless of race, color, religion, or nationality have a personal set of morals and ethics in which they set for themselves as a standard "code of conduct". For many people religion, culture, family, and other outside forces influence this moral code of standards. In many cases it is almost sub consciously imbedded into their system. Meaning that for the majority of people it takes a lot of soul searching before we are able to realize what ours is. This is the first obstacle in being able to find the answer in the equation of our own happiness. Up until the point where we are able to learn this moral and ethical code of conduct it remains the "x" in our formula.

CREATING ESCAPES

A lot of our lives are spent trying to figure this out. I call this soul searching process "escapes." What I mean by this is that we all find aspects of our lives that if we escape them it will equal happiness. Let me use a personal example as to what I mean by this. In the beginning of my mission for the LDS church in Brazil I went through some very difficult and frustrating times. I was in a foreign country without any family or friends. I didn't speak or comprehend the native language and I was 19 years old. So in the beginning I remember thinking, well once I know the language this will be easy and I will be happy. Once I learned the language I only became aware of more issues, and obstacles. So then I began to search for a new escape. I continued down this path until finally it dawned on me that none of those things bring happiness. In fact the absence of obstacles, stress, and tribulation does not equal happiness. Alot of times that is our first mistake. We see all of these stresses in our life, and we begin to think, if only I was able to rid myself of these stresses I would find myself FREE of stress thus resulting in happiness. This is a very destructive path, mainly because the only way anyone can experience growth and edification is through overcoming trials and obstacles in their lives, but that in itself can and should be reserved for it's own post.

MOVING FORWARD

Once we are able to comprehend that escaping what is bringing stress into our lives like, the lack of money, lack of friends, lack of family, lack of a job, etc... will bring about happiness. We are finally able to make some progress through this formula. We are then able to understand that only ONE person is in charge of our happiness. In fact only ONE "thing" is in charge of our happiness. We are the only ones who decide weather or not we are going to be happy. Regardless of circumstance happiness can be achieved. This does not mean to say that the pursuit to happiness is as easy for everyone, however "easy" or "hard" in itself is a relative term and is highly based on personal perception.

The only true way to find happiness is by living up to your own personal moral and ethical code of conduct inwhich we have all set for ourselves. Everyone's morals and ethics differ, so there is no RIGHT answer. However when you you don't meet your own expectations then you don't love yourself. If you don't love yourself you also are unable to comprehend or allow others to love you. Love is important because love is what brings about happiness. However when I use the word love I mean love in it's purest form. The love I speak of is synonymous with the word charity. So the best definition I can find is in the bible which says:

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in ainiquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth

1 Corinthians 13

*I find it important to note, that in the Brazilian Bible they interpreted the word charity as the word love. Which is more proof as to how perhaps love and charity are really the same word, but their definitions have become lost in time by man.

IN CLOSING

Please note that at the time of writing this post I am only 29 years old, and in my meager 29 years of pursuing happiness this is what I have learned and began applying to my daily life. I always find when I am unhappy it is almost ALWAYS in direct relation to how well I am doing in meeting my own personal moral and ethical code of conduct. So by going through the necessary steps to repair my own relationship with myself through forgiveness I am able to once again be on the pathway to happiness once again. So please feel free to add your own beliefs that you have learned along your travails of life.

RELATED:

5 Simple Rules for Happiness

80 Percenter

I've always thought of myself as an 80 percenter. I like to throw myself passionately into a sport or activity until I reach about an 80 percent proficiency level. To go beyond that requires an obsession and degree of specialization that doesn't appeal to me.

— Yvon Chouinard, Let My People Go Surfing, Founder and owner, Patagonia, Inc.

Related Article: A while back I wrote an article that talks about this philosophy. I wish I would of read this quote back then, it fits in perfectly to what I was attempting to say.

Still Fighting

Sunday I was driving home from church and I was listening to Ben Folds Five and this song came on and it seemed to perfectly tell the story of my life and where I am right now, and my sentiments.

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combo's only $9.95
It's okay, you don't have to pay
I've got all the change
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry
Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers COKES
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does

You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me
Good morning, son
I am a bird

And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

I edited it a bit, but included the song below for your listening pleasures.

As the years go along in my life I learn more and more about my faults, and how life is such a beautiful struggle and a constant battle between myself. Then I look into my children's eyes and their innocence, purity, and love radiates from within their young souls. I begin to think about the conversations we will have in the future when the innocence slowly wears thin, and the world begins to bring it's awful woes. When the storm clouds of reality begin to flood their life, and the bitterness that accountability will bring. The greatest advice ANYONE can give is that, "Everybody knows it hurts to grow up, but everybody does. The years go on and we're still fighting it."

Then I think about the conversations I wish I could have with my father at this episode of life. What advice and wisdom would he be able to give me over a coke and some fries? How much did his life change when he picked me up? Perhaps he would give the same advice as Ben Folds...

Keep the fight alive, and never give up... Endure to the end.

Enjoy™

Where the Wild Things Are

Every night for almost a month I would read "Where the Wild Things Are" to Hannah before she went to bed. The entire time I was reading she would be busy playing with toys on her bed. I never thought she was paying attention, until one day I was in the middle of the book and she stopped playing and stood up on her bed and began reciting word for word the book from that point on. She knew what to say by what picture was on the page. It amazed me.

I haven't read the book to her in over a month, and the other night she went and grabbed it off of the book shelf and told me she wanted to read the book all by herself. I thought to myself there is no way she still has this book memorized.

Sure enough she has the entire book still memorized. So the next night I decided I wanted to make sure I got a record of this so when it came time for story time I grabbed Heather and asked her to come in a record the moment.

Pongo & the Slide

Over a Bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup

Just got an email from Heather that related this story:

Just now, over a bowl of chicken noodle soup, Hannah says to me, "I really wish I could have a baby in my tummy." (random yes) So I said to her, "Well, one day FAR off in the future when YOU are a mommy, you can have a baby in your tummy too."

So she gets this excited, puzzled, intrigued look on her face and says, "Wait... So I can have a baby in MY tummy?" and I said, "Yup that's right. Only mommies and girls can have babies in their tummy...daddies and boys can't."

So she looks at me with a DUH look on her face and goes, "Yeah, they just watch."

Which reminds me I REALLY need to start writing down more of what she says on a daily basis cause it is so hilarious, but sadly my mind is unable to hold onto it for much longer than a day.

Ruh Roh!

Can you tell what I tried to carve in our pumpkin this year? I wasn't too happy with it, I was hoping it would turn out better. Hopefully I can do better next year.

Here's a picture of our pumkin in the light along with Hannah and her new pajamas. This was the first year I cleaned the pumpkin out all by myself and carved it. I let Hannah help me poke some holes as I outlined the stencil. She was a wonderful helper as always.

Your Problem Solved!

On the 14th day of October the world was blessed (or cursed) with the presence of one Shane Michael Guymon. If by any chance you were having trouble figuring out what to buy a humble young boy from The Oak for such an occasion as spending 29 years on this old soil we like to call Earth then leave your worries behind. I have managed to put together a list of great gift ideas for such an occasion.


– Guarana (It's gotta be Antarctica)
– Word T-shirt (Extra Large)
– ISO50 Arbor T-shirt (Brown X-Large)
– iPhone
– Palm Pre™ (I do have sprint)
– iPod Touch (Thanks Matt, Ethan, & Mark!!!)
– iPod Nano (in red)
– Fogo De Chao Gift Card
– Air Jordan's XI, Air Jordan IV, Air Jordan V
– Night at the Movies
– Money
– A day with Mommy Guymon (or weekend)

Are You Color Blind?

(The numeral "74" should be clearly visible to viewers with normal color vision. Viewers who are color blind may read it as "21", or may not see numbers at all.)

Hi, my name is Shane and I'm colored blind. I've known this for a number of years now, and have even openly discussed it with some people. I've noticed that a lot of people don't really understand what being color blind REALLY means. There are also a lot of people who are color blind and don't even realize it.

How do you know if you are color blind?

Well it definitely doesn't mean that you see the world as if you were watching a black & white TV. Usually what it means is that you are most likely male.

"About 5–8 percent of males, but less than 1 percent of females, are color blind in some way or another, whether it be one color, a color combination, or another mutation."

The most common form of color blindness is a color blindness to red and green. This doesn't mean that you are unable to see the color red, nor does it mean that you are unable to see the color green. However it does mean you are limited to the amount of tones of red and green you are able to see. It also means when red and green are on top of one another it is difficult to view a contrast between the two. There are three different degrees of this type of color blindness. I fit in the category of Deuteranopia:

"Deuteranopia (1% of males):Lacking the medium-wavelength cones, those affected are again unable to distinguish between colors in the green-yellow-red section of the spectrum. Their neutral point is at a slightly longer wavelength, 498 nm. The deuteranope suffers the same hue discrimination problems as the protanope, but without the abnormal dimming. The names red, orange, yellow, and green really mean very little to him aside from being different names that every one else around him seems to be able to agree on. Similarly, violet, lavender, purple, and blue, seem to be too many names to use logically for hues that all look alike to him. This is one of the rarer forms of colorblindness making up about 1% of the male population, also known as Daltonism after John Dalton. (Dalton's diagnosis was confirmed as deuteranopia in 1995, some 150 years after his death, by DNA analysis of his preserved eyeball.) Deuteranopic unilateral dichromats report that with only their deuteranopic eye open, they see wavelengths below the neutral point as blue and those above it as yellow."

Take a test to see if you are colorblind.

Why All This Color Blind Talk?

Well recently I saw a tweet with a link to this website, WeAreColorBlind.com. Which reminded me of my own colorblindness. So then after googling a couple resources I was wondering how many other people do I know that are also colorblind.

I remember in the 90's (I'm not sure what year exactly) these pictures like the one above became really popular. They were selling books, and framed posters all over the mall and in several different stores. I would go to the dentist and one would be hanging on the wall. Everywhere I went I was always surrounded by them. I always felt weird because I was one of the only people I knew who couldn't see anything but spots. Everyone else was seeing pictures pop out at them when they would stare at these millions of circles. As for me I never saw a thing. It wasn't until several years later when I was out of high school that I realized that those pictures were used for color blind tests. So the reason why I could never see any of the pictures was because I am colorblind.

For more info about color blindness check Wickipedia.

Represent

When Heather and I found out she was pregnant we made a trip to the mall and stumbled into a Finish Line. We both came across this amazing outfit and immediately purchased it. We both knew it was going to be a boy from the very beginning.

Yesterday we realized that our once little boy who LOVES to eat and won't stop growing will probably fit into it.

(click on the photo to go to my Flickr account and view ALL of the photos we took)

For Sale

living with a Graphic Designer can be a bit tough at times. As many of you have heard we're moving. So as we are cleaning out the apartment we have stumbled upon a few things that we feel deserve a new home (at a small price). So Heather sent me an email yesterday that said;

I want to make a sign and hang it up by the mail box so I can hopefully sell this stuff before we move.

Toastmaster rice cooker/steamer $5
Black cast iron skillet $5
Norelco electric shaver $10 (plug in model, not chargeable)
Box of infant through size 4-5 girl shoes (7 pair) $12
Suade King size comforter with king size pillow shams (tan color) $10
Glass crystal drink pitcher $10
Misc. dinnerware set (incomplete) $5

If you are interested in seeing any of these items please contact Heather or Shane @ 257-1868 or mamaguymon@gmail.com

She said she wanted me to just print her email out here at work because we don't have a printer at home. However being a Graphic Designer I can not physically allow myself to do that. So I asked her to take pictures of all the items she wanted to sell and email them to me. She didn't feel like participating in my madness & in turn released a deep sigh (in an email). So I told her when I got home I'd take the pictures on my own. Today I combined my pictures with the info she sent in the email and this is what you end up with.

Enjoy™

First Month

I can't believe we are already one month into Connor's life. I think we are all finally starting to get to know one another. He has grown to LOVE his mother, and almost always wants to be near her. Heather has finally figured out the secret to getting him to sleep pretty much through the night (we hope). Hannah is really enjoying her role as "Big Sister" and I think I am finally getting back to some sort of a routine. To bad it is all going to start over come October when I turn another year older, move into our first house, a new ward, and a new side of town.

We made a trip to San Antonio last weekend and Connor decided to take a nap on his Uncle Ethan while we all hung out in the family room watching some cheesy Life Time movie with my mom.

Cannon Ball!

Hannah has gotten a bit more brave in the last month. She now enjoys jumping into the pool and yelling "CANNON BAAAALLL!"

New House

So for all of those who don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook, earlier this month Heather decided she wanted to start looking for a house. I was a bit reluctant because of what happened the last time we decided to check it out. Initially we were pre approved for far more then we wanted to spend, we also got a really good percentage rate of 5.6%. Another great selling point was the fact that right now the government has a First-Time Home Buyer Tax Credit. So Heather decided to initially look at houses on her own especially since she is home during the day and I'm at work. Then once she found some she really liked she would have me go back and check them out later. So her first day out she found a house she fell in love with, she looked at a couple more the next day, but none of them stood out to her as much as the one from the first day.

So we went out and looked at the house together (on Friday Aug. 21st), and I also loved the house, so we decided to make an offer, and a couple hours later they accepted it!

We had the house inspected today, and the Inspector said the house is in terrific shape! The foundation is good, the air conditioner is 6 years old & in good shape, the water heater is 3 years old & also in good shape, and the roof is less than a year old. We took the opportunity to take some photos of the house to show it off!

11 Random Facts About Michael Guymon

Eleven years ago today my Mom, my brother Ethan, and I gathered around my Mom's bed to say a prayer before we left for school. When the prayer was over the phone rang, and my Mom answered to hear that my father had rejected the machine that was helping him breath and had suffered a heart attack but they were able to revive him and asked that she come to the hospital. My mom hung up the phone and gave us the news, and asked if we wanted to go with her or go ahead and go to school. I had made up my mind a few weeks earlier that I wanted to have only memories of my father awake and alive. So I chose to go to school and Ethan chose to go with my mom.

My last memory of my father was right after I got back from a trip to Utah to visit my brother. While I was gone, my dad began having more trouble breathing on his own and had to return to the hospital. When I arrived he was awake and in good spirits, I stood beside his bed staring at him laying in an uncomfortable bed in a crowded room with nothing but a small white curtain to provide him with some privacy. His face was covered with a plastic oxygen mask, to which I said something to the sound of, "I'm surprised they were able to get one of those masks custom made to fit over your BIG nose."

And we all stood around and laughed. Shortly after that we had to leave, and my father told me not to worry about him, and that he would be fine. He said he was feeling better, and doing better. He gave me a hug to which if I concentrate I can still feel to this day, and told me that he loved me and took hold of my hand and stared me in my eye and told me how happy he was to see me, and how happy he was that I came to visit him. The very next day he took a turn for the worse and had to be forced into a coma and placed on a machine which breathed for him.

By the time I got to my second class of the day, which was Art class, I walked through the door and placed my back pack down on my desk and pulled my chair out and was about to sit down when a lady came over to me and said I needed to go with her. We walked back through the door to the bright sunlight and when the door shut on the other side stood John Durnford (who was my bishop at the time) who started out by saying, "Shane, I'm sorry but..." and I knew exactly what had happened. Before I left for school my mother told me she would call and let me know if anything else happened....

In memory of that day here are 11 Random Facts & Memories About My Father, Michael Guymon

1.) My father tried hard to stop drinking caffeine, but he had difficulty giving up Cherry Coke, which he drank in the form of a fountain drink in a black Texaco cup on a daily basis. He began referring to Cherry Coke as "Cherry Water", because throughout his campaign to stop drinking caffeine he also tried his hardest to rally the rest of us to join him. So when he saw me drinking a coke, or worse yet a Mountain Dew, he would give me a hard time. I would then ask, "What are you drinking?" and he would say, "Oh this... This is just cherry water."

2.) My dad was obsessed about us leaving lights on in the house. He was constantly circling the house turning off lights we left on and he would say, "If I had a nickel for every light you guys left on..."

3.) Almost every night you could find my dad roaming the house in his underwear and a flash light making his way to the air conditioner to make sure it was set to 80 degrees. Anytime it wasn't we would ALL have to hear about it the following morning. If you happened to be sleeping on the couch while he was on his way he would lean over and shine the flash light directly in your face asking, "Who is that... Oh it's you Shane!"

4.) My dad was VERY cold natured one of the reasons he chose to hang his hat in south Texas. So year round he would wear a jacket, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat.

5.) He refused to turn on the air conditioner in the car because he firmly believed that the air conditioner didn't function until the car was moving at a speed of 60 mph or higher. Boy was that fun when the entire family (8) piled into our Ford van for a trip in the middle of the Texas summer.

6.) Similar to Batman my dad wore what we all referred to as his "Utility Belt" which held just about anything and everything a normal person would NEVER need. Some of the items were a pocket knife, glasses, pens, keys, and who knows what else.

7.) Despite Michael Jordan's greatness next to his brother Jimmy, Jerry West remained the greatest player to ever throw a leather ball through a round metal rim.

8.) My first job was my dad paying me 2 cents a minute to tickle his head. It is looking like I might have to do that to finally get someone other than my Mom to tickle my back or head (thanks to Heather deceiving).

9.) Often times I had to make my dad a bowl of ice cream. The problem was my dad was very picky about his ice cream, and sometimes it would take me 3 or four times to get it right. He loved Bluebell chocolate ice cream covered in a lake of Hershey's chocolate syrup. However the ice cream had to be somewhat melted as well. So I would scoop the ice cream out, then pour chocolate syrup over it and carry it over to him to find out if I had enough chocolate syrup or not, and to see if the ice cream was melted enough.

10.) He had a recurring nightmare that he once shared with us, that he would be playing basketball and standing at the free throw line in the middle of a game with tons of fans in the crowd. He would throw the ball as hard as he could towards the basket and it would barely reach the dotted line in the middle of the paint.

11.) My dad was a very quiet guy. He mostly kept to himself. For example, when we would eat out as a family as soon as he was finished with his food he would head straight to the car to wait for us. Even at home, whenever we ate together as a family as soon as he was finished with his food, he would head straight back to his room, regardless if it was just the family, or if company was over eating with us. If we went to a wedding reception or other get together you could always find my dad sitting all alone in the corner out of site.

Two Weeks: Grizzly Bear

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Beautiful music, and an amazing video. What is more amazing is the fact that this isn't even the actual video.

"This is a fan video I've been working on for a few months now. Not to be confused with the official music video which is really cool. Hope you like it."

Here's the actual music video for a comparison.

A Few Movies I'm Looking Forward to Hitting My Local Theaters

Alice In Wonderland

Because I LOVE Tim Burton's vision on movies, I've always been a fan of the original Disney cartoon, and beyond that it flat out looks DOPE!

District 9

I'm a sucker for Sci-Fi alien movies, I'm sorry I just am...

Holmes

Ever since I saw "Johnny Be Good" and "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" I've been a fan of Robert Downey Jr. I'm also a sucker for detective movies, and it's Sherlock Holmes.

The Book of Eli

I do my best to watch any movie Denzel Washington is in, so you combine that with my obsession with movies about the future, and well you got a giddy little boy inside of Shane that is dieing for this to hit the big screen.

Where the Wild Things Are

About a month before I found out that they were even making a movie, Heather bought Hannah this book, and for about a month straight without fail Hannah asked me to read that book to her before she went to bed. While reading the book Hannah would sit on her bed and play with toys and it always seems like I was reading it to myself. Until one night randomly she started just blurting out word for word what was written on the page as I was reading. She had pretty much memorized the entire book word for word (let that be a lesson, even when you think kids aren't paying any attention THEY ARE). I just started cracking up. This movie hits theaters right around my 29th birthday, so I told Hannah me and her would go see this on the BIG screen for my birthday, and she is super excited, as am I.

Despicable Me

I just like animated movies.

The Goods: Live Hard. Sell Hard.

Jeremy Piven is a pretty funny dude, plus the every time I see the trailer I just start cracking up throughout the entire thing.

Inglourious Basterds

I'm not a HUGE fan of Quentin Tarantino (the only movies I've liked of his are: Kill Bill 1 & 2, Jackie Brown, Sin City, & Grindhouse), but I am a HUGE fan of Brad Pitt, and do my best to see any movie he is in. Based off of the trailer, this movie looks funny, quirky, bloody, & AWESOME!

Tron Legacy

It's Disney, about the future, & animated.

Brothers

Because I like Natalie Portman, Tobey Maguire, & Jake Gyllenhaal.

Stop following directions and start designing

"Of course it is totally understandable to take the ideas of those that pay our bills as gospel. But we should also be reminded that those same people hired us for our expertise. If they just wanted someone to follow orders, they’d probably have hired someone else."

Read the entire article.

Her Morning Elegance

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance
by IgnitionVM

One of the better music videos I have seen in a long time, the song isn't too hard on the ears either.

Hannah Can Swim

Hannah finally got brave enough to swim around in the pool with a flotation device, which was REALLY exciting for us, because I really want her to learn how to swim with as much time as we spend in the pool during the summer.