So as a new parent I've been thinking alot about how to raise my child. I am under the impression that complete control never works out. So I feel that you should teach a person correct principles, or right and wrong, and tehn let them govern themselves. Of course that does leave taht time gap of teaching. So I have heard some analogies against this theory. One being about a trip to the zoo. So you are at the zoo and the cage to the lions is open, your child turns to you and says, I wanna go into the lions cage... What do you do. Well you see, I am not an idiot. But also I don't think that necesarily constitutes letting them govern themselvs. So like I said, there is an alotted amount of time where teaching has to take place. So if the kid is 19 years old and is still saying I wanna go into the lions cage, well then your kid is an idot, or perhaps they just no something about lions that you don't. MY whole phylosify stems from teh whole idea, that your kids are going to reach a point where you aren't always with them. So when that time comes you aren't going to be able to control them any longer. The way I see it, if you control them throughout there youth, you are only going to build up alot of resentment, and also the whole idea of shielding them from danger is just not going to be succesful. Life is about choices, and choices means mistakes, and mistakes usually result in learning, thats life. So if you never let your children make any choices, and you never give them room to make mistakes, and learn and grow through them, then you are only hurting them. I mean if you raise your kids in a bubble there whole life, sure they will apear to be perfectly healthy, infact you could support that arguement by the fact they have never been sick. But as soon as they leave that protective bubble, there bodies, not having any type of a imune system built up with get sick awhole lot faster, and more often. Anyways back to my control analogy, if you control your kids, and don't give them the oportunity at some point to make there own decisions, then once they are out of your control, they won't know what to do with all the freedom. They will go wild, and make too many mistakes, and they may not be able to recover or learn from them, either that or the recovery time will be so long, that they will end up digressing, and it will set them back that much farther.
Now the question comes, what is the age where you let them begin to do this. I say let it happen slowly, and I would say a good starting point is around 8. Again I said I would ease them into the whole choice aspect. I wouldn't just unleash them, let it be gradual.
I remember on my mission, while in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) we were pretty controled, just by the fact that we were in a closed area. I mean there was no where to go, you were confined. Then the day came when we enetered into our actual mission and left the training center. I remember being in the mission office, they had given us a portion of our allowance, which was more money then I had seen up to that point. I was new to the country, and to the mission, so I had no concept of how much money I actually had. I mean it was a diffrent currancy, I was still thinking in dollars. I had no concept of budget. So we all get hungry, and we are used to, at a certain time of day going to a cafeteria, where the food is prepared for us, we have a few options of what to eat, but not many. So we say, "We're hungry, when are we eating lunch." They look at us, and say whenever you want. Then we say, well how are we supposed to get food. They say, you got money, and you got two feet, you figure it out, jsut make sure you take one person with you. Well we all still stuck together, we weren't used to being apart, we had been together for 9 weeks straight. So we venture first across the street to this bakery, we are all starving, and they ahve food, lots of food. So I just start buying stuff, and then next thing we know, we find out about a mall a few blocks away, where there is a McDonalds as well as some other restarauntes. So we head over there and spend more money. The next day I get my new companion, and enter my actual area, with next to no money left. I had another two weeks to go, and I needed to pay for bus fair as well as the metro. So for the next few nights, I went hungry while my companion who's mom would send him a nice fresh $20.00 bill in each letter she wrote for a whole year straight, was eating, and eating nicely. I look back now, and think he is a JERK. But hey when freedom is released all at once on you, and sometimes they think the control, protects you, and the protection is teaching you. It isn't until you are left by yourself, and on your own that you realize how much you really know. I mean I survived, I lived and I learned. I never ran out of money again, and I learned how to budget. It was a good experience.
Well I know you probably don't give a dime
but thats my two cents...