Sunday, August 28, 2005

A Proclamation

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when your too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

danuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh

as the guitar solo comes creeping in through the speakers, before no time you begin to hear the drums start to bang, next through your ear comes the vibrations of other elecrtical sounds, and then everyone comes together in one voice...

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

and the music plays!

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Now you can really feel the words in your soul....

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Then the music stops, and quietly you hear one soul voice...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Thats how my day began as I was driving in Heather's truck on my way down 35 to work, I had just picked up some free chic-file chicken mini's for breakfast, and The Kid Kratic show went to a comercial break, so I decided to play a song from my new Cold Play X&Y CD. Little did I know that that song would pretty much be the soundtrack of my day...

Mom called me around lunch time with tears in her voice, it seems as though her day was going about as well as mine, I drew this picture of a freakin field mouse and went to save it, and BAM the program quit on me, their went an hour of work down the drain, I was able to get started with a new one and thrity minutes into it I tried to save again and BAM! the program quit and I lost it again. MAC's are far superior to any other computer, and they never have any problems, or bugs, atleast thats what the vibe is around the world by fellow MAC users... I don't by it, I have yet to see any real benefit to a MAC over a PC...

Well Heather hasn't had too good of a day, I got a few calls from her as well. It is times like these that I like to reflect on the importance of family, and the eternal aspect of a family. I hold strong desires to have a united family, I have never really liked the fact that I have grown up with out any real relationships with any of my Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, and not really even my Grandparents.
You know it has always been my view, that family includes all of that, and then when one of your brothers or sisters get's married it is my firm opinion that the spouse of your brother or sister becomes apart of your family. So then when we speak of loyalty to family we speak of the spouse as well. So then regardless of issues I myself will and do love the spouses of my brothers and sisters. Some of them I may not agree with some of their views, or perhaps just don't connect well with them, but my eyes see past peoples faults, and short comings. I see past these things and I love them all unconditionally, I don't hold grudges, and I don't hold tight to their mistakes they have made in life, and hold that against them and throw them to the wayside as a "bad person" I still remain cordial, and greet them and depart from them with open arms. In my view taht is what family is all about, remaining loyal, and true. The love that comes from a family should never waver, it should be a constant, it is in the family that you should be able to seek comfort and shelter.

Atleast that is my views on the subject, like always I already know Mark will disagree with me, because in his words me and my friend "Bucktooth" always have twisted views of reallity, and my whole phylosiphy on life is alwasy just alittle off, I mean in all reallity he is just not sure if I am just stupid, or if really I am just so prideful and hardheaded. So let me go ahead and chalk it up to both, we can all come to a solid agreement today, and this can be my "coming out" party, It is both, I am stupid and prideful. The sadder thing is, I've never really asked for anyone to agree with me, in fact anytime I am in an arguement with Mark, or Matt, or anyone else it isn't that I am argueing with them to convince them of my opinion being superior but really I am striving to clearify and untangle the opinion after they destroy it and mis-interpret it, I could care less if anyone agrees with me, I don't believe in things because of the majority. That isn't where my beliefs come from, infact I will goes as far to say that I don't believe anything that comes out of anyones mouth, or anything I read, I seek out my own personal answers, and through my own personal dealings is where I obtain my answers. I listen and take in what everyone says, and then at the end of the night, I'm always the one who makes the decision....

Thanks to all of those who participated in the last debate.

Shane Guymon

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Hannah Guymon

I bring you a new drawing I did of my beautiful daughter Hannah. So anyways I went to play ball tonight and I actually played good, I also played on Monday and I played well also. So perhaps my slump is ending, the only problem is Monday I kept losing, but tonight I actually got a few wins under my belt.

Onto other news today was my last day working at Brylane, so that is totally freakin awesome. I felt wonderful as I walked out of that building and had the hugest smile on my face as I walked out to my car. So me and Heather are doing very well these days, and Hannah is wonderful as well. We have made some big changes in our lives, and had to make a few huge decisions, and I feel that we have made the correct decisions.

The only reason I even updated was to put that drawing of Hannah up on here, so peace out!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

The Fountain Drink

So I stop at a corner store to buy a fountain drink, and as I am waiting for the fiz to die down so I can fill my 32 ounce plastic cup to the brim, I place my fingure in the fizz (because thats what you do to make it happen faster). As I do this I am looking into the cup and seeing the fiz disapate (thats a nice word) and my mind becomes flooded with memories of Mark, in fact it seems almost everytime I get a fountain drink I think of Mark, now even Mark is probably asking the question, "Why does a fountain drink remind you of me?" Well their are a few reasons:

1.) I have many of a memory of Mark sneaking out to the back yard to jump over the almost falling down fence, which my dad specifically, & repeatedly told us not to jump the fence. So Mark would always jump the fence and run across Toeperwein Rd. (a semi congested road behind our house) to get a fountain drink. Their were only a handful of times which Mark would let me, his lil paesky brother go across Toeperwein with him, so those times I got to go have always stuck with me. I have never been one afraid to ask for anything, so I asked if I could go everytime, so since 9 times out of 10 I was told NO, the times when he said yes especially stuck with me.

2.) When I went to visit Mark in Utah he lived in an apartment and across the street was a corner store, so every night of the week I stayed with him, me and Mark would walk across that street, and take one of the collection of cups Mark already had in his kitchen and we would get a refill, and we would make ourselves a little mix, because Mark is the king of mixing the fountain drinks, and that too always stuck with me. I've always enjoyed spending time with my big brother, and he hasn't always wanted to spend time with his younger pest of a brother, so I always enjoyed even the smallest of moments I was able to kick it with my big brother. Even if it meant we were just gonna be rebelliouse and jump that old wooden fence and get a fountain drink. Even when the only drink I got was a sip of the fizz from the rootbeer, as Mark was waiting to fill that bad boy to the brim so we could make our treck back over that fence before my pop strolled out into the family room in his underwear and a flashlight with some fuzzy sheep skin slippers, trying to adjust the thermostat to 85 cause he didn't have enough blankets in his bed to keep himself warm in 78 degrees.

Those were the days!

So now I sit with my big red in hand, as I take a sip of the memories from the past...