Christmas of 1999, I was a senior in high school, and I spent a lot of time with a family, originally from Utah. We would play basketball together, watch basketball together, and we would constantly talk trash back and forth about basketball. Me being a Jordan disciple, and he being a die hard Utah Jazz fan we were able to have some very interesting discussions. So seeing as how Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls dominated the 90's, he received the brunt of my creative trash talking abilities. So when Christmas came around, the year after Jordan beat the Jazz to win their 6th championship. He invited me to his house for a little get together, I decided to write up a nice little Christmas poem as a special token of our friendship, as his family was about to move back to Utah. I recently discovered this masterpiece in a dusty box of memories in my closet.
I looked outside on a cold winter day
and everyone was happy I could say
It was December six,
all the good boys were out collecting sticks,
for a nice fire.
But in the mountains there lived an evil sire,
who went by the name of Karl Malone.
He had a face and a heart of stone.
Destroying Christmas was his only wish,
but Michael "Santa Clause" Jordan, well all his shots went swish.
Now Jordan and his little elves have kept Christmas for five years
so there were no children to shed any tears.
But Karl Malone
wanted to hear the children moan.
So once again they did meat for that sacred prize
to put happiness or sadness in the children's eyes.
In game one Jordan hit fifty.
The kids thought that was quite nifty.
Game two he rang in sixty three
The children all screamed yippee!
Karl Malone did steal game three
The children wondered, "How could it be?"
He repeated his rage in game number four,
but in game five Jordan did soar
he even dunked it on Karl Malones head
which put all the children safely to bed.
Now if Jordan put it away in game six
Christmas would again be safely fixed.
However in game six Malone put up quite a battle
one after one his shots went in with a rattle.
With only minutes to spare there was little hope
The children began to mope,
but wait! Jordan comes from behind to get the steal,
Malone thought, "This can't be real."
Seconds there were but a few.
Jordan hesitated before he took off to fly,
as he dunks it in Karl Malones eye.
Yes Jordan did soar,
and the crowd did indeed roar
Christmas once again came
and Malone still had no game
and all the Bulls fans got presents,
but coal went to all the silly Jazz peasants.